


bead of glass

by kgmps2



Category: Never Satisfied (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, Oblivious Pining, Soulmates AU, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:15:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25156111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kgmps2/pseuds/kgmps2
Summary: It was just a fact of nature. Water was wet, the sky was blue, and every single person had a soulmate they could reasonably meet in their lifetime. Nothing mystical about having a traceable magical connection on the soul level to someone who was guaranteed to be compatible with you and spend the rest of your lives together.
Relationships: Sylas Dubois/Seiji Soga
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. magical jewelry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [varibean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/varibean/gifts).



> the biggest plot hole in this story is why, if soulmates exist, Sylas' parents are together. please don't ask me for an explanation; I really couldn't tell you.

“But aren’t you ever _curious_?”

It was a question Sylas had asked before, of course. The interesting thing was that Seiji’s answer was different every time – not like he was _lying_ , though. For one, he didn’t lie to Sylas. There’d be no point, even if he wasn’t a piss-poor liar to begin with. And Sylas knew that Seiji tended to be all over the place anyway.

This time, Seiji shrugged.

“I mean, I guess? Same way I’m curious about anything that’s gonna happen in the future. But…”

He looked up at Sylas and regarded him. After a second, a grin stole onto his face.

“Why do I _need_ a soulmate? I’ve already got you.”

Sylas laughed, plunking himself down next to Seiji.

“I’ve got you too, buddy. I won’t leave you behind or anything when I find my soulmate, but I just… wanna know that there’s someone out there who was _made_ for me, you know? Someone _I_ was made for, who’ll always understand me, who won’t get tired of me, who… oh, don’t give me that look, I’m not saying _you’re_ gonna get tired of me or you don’t get me! But… I dunno how to explain it, I guess.”

Seiji nodded, a pensive look on his face. “Yeah, yeah… well, I dunno. When you go into that jewelry place on Friday and get told who’s the ~perfect person~ who’s destined to be with you, don’t forget _me_ , ‘kay? Just ‘cause I’m not perfect?”

Sylas laughed and pulled Seiji into a tight hug. “Don’t be ridiculous, Seiji. I could never forget you.”

Besides, what were the odds that he’d be able to _find_ his soulmate right away?

* * *

Sylas wasn’t sure what to expect when he went into the little niche jewelry shop on his eighteenth birthday. It was in a well-trod market district, easy to find, with unobstructed windows, but he’d always felt shy about entering. It had always just seemed so _momentous_ to him, even though there was nothing different about the shop than its immediate neighbors.

Sylas sighed as he sized it up. He knew he should be more reasonable about this – it was just a fact of nature. Water was wet, the sky was blue, and every single person had a soulmate they could reasonably meet in their lifetime. Nothing mystical about having a traceable magical connection on the soul level to someone who was guaranteed to be compatible with you and spend the rest of your lives together.

Logic aside, this was a big deal to Sylas. He tried to tell himself nobody was staring at him as he took a deep breath before pushing open the door. The bell mounted in the doorframe tinkled quietly to announce his presence, and before he could look around and take the modest place in, the shopkeeper looked up from her book and gave him a friendly smile.

“Well, good morning! What can I do for you today?”

He hurried up to the counter, unable to shake the feeling that he was somehow breaking an unspoken rule.

“I’d, uh, like to get one of the little soulmate thingies? Uh, I mean, a token, ma’am.”

She laughed, bookmarking the book and sliding it into some hidden cubby underneath her shop’s counter.

“Let me guess. It’s your eighteenth birthday?”

“Um… yeah.”

She nodded, getting up and vaulting over the counter so she could be on the same side of it as Sylas. She was surprisingly short, for someone who chose to go over the counter rather than around it. Her familiar, a sugar glider, hopped onto the counter from a shelf on the back wall.

“Thought so. Kids coming in for the first time on the day they turn eighteen are always the most shy. It’s cute.”

Sylas frowned, about to say something, but the shopkeeper laughed again and cut him off.

“Aw, don’t be hurt. I’m not gonna kick you out of my shop or lecture you about big decisions. You’re eighteen, you’re _allowed_ to be cute. What’s your name, son?”

“I’m Sylas.”

“All right, Sylas, do you have any questions?”

Sylas didn’t have _questions_ as much as he had a swirling vortex of uncertainty inside him. Not knowing where to _start_ , he paused for a moment, looking at his feet. The shopkeeper waited with an indulgent smile on her face. Sylas wasn’t sure whether to feel patronized or not.

“Uh… how does it all work?”

The jeweler grinned, then gestured to a seating area in the corner by one of the windows. Without waiting for him to start walking, she practically skipped into one.

“To put it simply,” she began, “I’ve spent several years studying the connections between soulmates and learning how to express what I’ve found with magic. There are plenty of ways to do this – some people do divinations for the name or face of a client’s soulmate, and that’s the most common I’ve seen among this trade. I’ve never been the best at gathering _that_ kinda information, and names and faces can be unreliable if someone changes their name, or has a really common name, or is faceblind. Also, sometimes the face divination catches someone right in the middle of a sneeze.”

She grinned and looked almost pointedly at Sylas. A cue to laugh? He decided to take it as such.

“So what do _you_ do, then?”

She smiled and pulled a small pendant from her pocket. It was a simple silvery chain with a single round bead of smooth glass about the size of his thumbnail strung on. The glass glowed with a soft blue-green light that matched the shopkeeper’s eyes.

“I make tokens! They look something like this. You can pick design elements like what shape you want the glass to be and how you want it presented, but mostly they look pretty much the same and there are some parts that are outside of my control. I’ll explain that to you once I’m done with yours, if you buy one.”

“… What’s it do?”

The shopkeeper held the glass bead between her forefinger and thumb right in front of Sylas’ face. The light in it brightened, then dimmed. At its brightest, it never _quite_ hurt to look at, and at its dimmest, it was never _quite_ dark.

“This is just a demonstration, since I’m controlling the light myself, but an actual token is attuned to the link between soulmates. It’ll always glow a _little_ , even if you’re on opposite sides of the world, but the closer it gets to your soulmate, the brighter it will glow.”

Sylas nodded.

“So what do _I_ do then? How do you connect it to… me?”

Despite the shop he was sitting in, it felt oddly forward to come out and say “my soulmate.” The shopkeeper didn’t seem to notice Sylas’ hesitation.

“Oh, that part’s easy. To do, not to explain. It won’t hurt or anything – _you_ won’t even notice when I start and finish, not without me telling you.”

It seemed so much simpler than the various scenarios Sylas hadn’t allowed himself to finish imagining back when he had no idea how the process worked. He wasn’t sure whether he should be relieved, underwhelmed, or impressed. Was this really all there was to it?

_Well_ , he decided after a moment of looking at his knees, _after this is done, I’ll be one step closer to finding my soulmate. I should be_ glad _the process is so easy._

So he smiled at the jeweler. (He hoped it was a charming smile, but it probably just looked nervous.)

“Okay, I think that’s all I needed to know. I, um, don’t really need anything fancy. Can you make the glass into a teardrop shape, though?”

She laughed. “Yes, that’ll be fine. Easy, even. If there isn’t anything else you need to know, we can get started as soon as you’ve paid.”

“Oh! Then… I think I’m ready.” He didn’t really feel ready. He didn’t feel _not_ ready, either – the problem was that it still didn’t feel like something eventful. It felt like ordering a sandwich. But he had brought enough money to pay for the token – more than enough, really, it was less expensive than he’d worried – so he decided he was ready enough. He pulled out the money and counted the correct number of coins to slide across the counter. The shopkeeper grinned at him.

“All right, let’s get into the back room,” she said, gesturing towards a curtain behind the counter. Sylas followed, ducking under the doorway into a small room that looked about the same as the front of the shop, except with more shelves and drawers. With the same self-assured air she’d kept the whole time, the shopkeeper approached one of the drawers and took from it an egg-shaped glass bead.

* * *

_It’ll be ready in about an hour_ , the jeweler had said. It had been nearly an hour and a half and Sylas was still pacing up and down the street opposite the building. He felt stupid for stalling – even if his token _did_ take longer than she said, it wouldn’t make sense for her to kick him out. But he felt… nervous. Not a specific _kind_ of nervous, though that didn’t seem to matter to his gut. Apparently the feeling of making a life-changing choice had been waiting until he left the shop to wait. And now he was – circling, like a shark or vulture.

_I look stupid_ , he thought, and it was that thought that pushed him to cross the street and reenter the store. The shopkeeper was reading the same book when he opened the door. She looked up and smiled at him.

“Welcome back!” she said, marking her page again. She turned on her stool and opened a drawer behind her, pulling out a small jewelry box. Another turn of her stool and she handed it to Sylas with surprising ease given her short reach. He opened it and looked inside.

The soft pink glow was visible even before the box was all the way open. Sylas lifted the necklace off of the dark cloth surface it rested on. The chain was well-made, sliding like liquid in his hands, and the glass bead was warm. The shopkeeper grinned proudly.

“I had fun with that one,” she said almost conspiratorially. (She probably said something like that to _all_ her customers.) “I don’t usually get people who already _know_ their soulmate, and it seems they’re already sweet on you.”

Sylas almost dropped the necklace. The shopkeeper’s grin widened.

“So, the token’s already glowing pretty bright, which means they’re nearby. Not necessarily walking down the street, but probably not two towns over. And you remember I mentioned earlier that there are aspects of the token that are out of my control? That’s because the spell I use is affected by what kind of relationship it’s – mm, displaying. The light color isn’t _exact_ , but when it’s reddish or pinkish like this, that tends to indicate a romantic bond. And then there’s heat. Normally tokens start out cool and warm up when soulmates meet and get to know each other. Yours is already warm – _really_ warm, actually, close to the temperature that they tend to plateau at because I don’t want my jewelry to ever be uncomfortably hot, cold, or bright.”

Sylas looked down, setting the box on the counter so he could put the necklace on. There was a pit of anxiety in his stomach.

“How do you know it’s my soulmate who already likes me, and not me who already likes my soulmate? Isn’t it a two-way connection?”

The shopkeeper shrugged. “That’s possible, too. I just get hunches.”

Sylas laughed nervously and pocketed the jewelry box. It was a pretty nice box. “Well, thanks. It’s really pretty.”

“Of course!” said the jeweler sunnily. “Don’t forget, once you figure it out, you can bring them back if they want! I offer discounts for matching soulmate jewelry!”

* * *

Sylas took the long way home. Even though it was only a little piece of jewelry, his life seemed so much more complicated now. The problem was that, according to the jeweler, his soulmate was someone he knew already. He’d been vaguely hoping for some stranger who had nothing to do with his life, perhaps sweeping him off his feet and letting all his troubles fade away. But instead he had to mentally sift through his notes on everyone he knew. Instead of a mystery for later, it was a puzzle for now.

He didn’t feel like he knew _anyone_ who already had feelings for him. Most of the people he knew his age were annoying rich teenagers from in and out of town, who either thought he was weird or were personally aggravating. He could only think of three people:

There was Seiji. Not likely at all – if the shopkeeper had said he had a _friendly_ soulmate, maybe, but this was _romantic_. Sylas was pretty sure Seiji wasn’t into men, anyway – he was good at getting people to like him and had a dating history that consisted only of girlfriends. (He also thought, somewhat guiltily, that if _anyone_ didn’t have a soulmate, it would probably be Seiji, who didn’t even seem to _care_ about the whole concept. Well, _everyone_ had a soulmate, so if Seiji had one it would probably be someone equally uninterested who would never meet him.)

Then there was Philly. This _should_ have made Sylas excited – after all, he knew he liked her, so that meant that they would eventually get into a functional romantic relationship. But instead he felt _worse_ when he contemplated the notion of Philly as his soulmate. He figured it was probably because she didn’t like him _now_. If she really was his soulmate, he’d probably have to break the news gently.

Philly’s brother was probably the most outlandish of the three candidates. He was just so… shy. Not that Sylas _wasn’t_ , but at least Sylas could manage to feel easygoing sometimes. Franco probably didn’t have an easygoing bone in his body. (Also, he didn’t… seem… like he was into Sylas? Sylas didn’t know if he was even into dating.)

Without any new information, Sylas’ thoughts churned in an uncomfortable cycle until he reached his house. He was glad he hadn’t told anyone what he was getting _specifically_ – just that he wanted to get himself a birthday present – so the necklace remained tucked safely under his vest until he got back to his room and flopped into bed.

He’d hardly stayed put for a moment when his familiar slithered impatiently onto his chest.

“Are you going to _sss_ it there all day?” asked Fenn.

“Hey! I _just_ sat down.”

“Yes, but when you’re this upset you _brood_. Come on, go spend some time with your mother. She hasn’t wished you a happy birthday yet.”

Sylas rolled his eyes but sat up anyway. With a shake of his head, he unhooked the little pink necklace and put it back in its box. He didn’t want to explain it just yet. Not to his mom.

* * *

By the time Sylas got back to his bedroom, he felt much better. He’d had a nice chat with his mom, who had spent the last month crocheting him a shawl. On his way to dinner, Emilia had cornered him to give him a book that she evidently wrapped herself. Best of all, his dad had been tolerable, giving him a pair of shoes that he actually _liked_ along with a small amount of cash. There hadn’t been much conversation over dinner, but Sylas didn’t care. A birthday dinner where he didn’t get sniped at was a good birthday dinner.

With a sigh, he closed and locked the door behind him. The food and presents had been nice, but what he needed now was time alone to unwind. He sat down on the bed, letting Fineas and Fenn off his shoulders, and glanced at his bedside table. The jewelry box sat there invitingly.

He probably should have just opened up Emilia’s book, but he opened up the box and took off the necklace. It was still glowing – of course it was. It would _always_ glow. And it was still warm.

_I have a soulmate who loves me_ , he told himself uncertainly. It was hard to connect that thought to the gentle warmth sitting in his palm. The shopkeeper could have told him _anything_ , after all, and he wouldn’t have any way to verify it. Of course she knew what she was doing – soulmate divination was a proven branch of magic, and while quacks weren’t nonexistent, they were quickly shunned by their communities. But the knowledge didn’t _mean_ anything, didn’t make him feel more loved. At least, not yet.

Sylas had been looking into the tiny glow when it abruptly glowed _brighter_. He blinked – didn’t that mean his soulmate was closer than they were earlier? It was fast enough that they had probably teleported, which meant–

Without even a knock, the outside door to his room swung open.

“Hey, birthday boy,” said Seiji cheerfully. He was holding a gift wrapped in shiny black paper and wearing pajamas for Sylas’ annual birthday sleepover. “Didja miss me?”


	2. birthday sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _One thing was clear from – well, from the first five minutes after Seiji walked into his room. Seiji wasn’t just in love with him – he was obvious about it. It was clear from the way he acted, the things he said, even the way he looked at Sylas._

Sylas felt like his brain was being stirred by an egg beater. It wasn’t just the conclusion he had just drawn – Seiji was _here_ and crossing the room to give him a hug probably and ask how his day went, which meant he didn’t have time to think about what any of it meant. Sylas gave him a frozen sort of smile.

Seiji’s easy grin faded, just a little, when he spotted the necklace in Sylas’ hands. He set the wrapped package on the bedside table closer to the door and paused, looking like he wanted to hold his arms out but felt awkward about it.

“Uh, is that the doodad? For, um…”

He waved his hand in a small circle, evidently not wanting to say it.

Sylas laughed. “Yes, Seiji, I sold my soul to a jeweler for this lump of glass. But seriously – yeah, I went and got it at lunchtime.” He paused, looking at Seiji’s face, then stood up and opened his arms. “You okay?”

Seiji stepped forward automatically, hugging Sylas firmly. “Yeah, of course. I’m not _upset_ , I know you wanted to find your… uh… you know. It just feels different, seeing you holding a glowing necklace and knowing that it’s – real, I guess. So what’s the necklace do, anyway? I thought most people went and got a little slip of paper with a name in fancy writing.”

Sylas shook his head, then pulled away from the hug and sat down. Seiji sat next to him, looking curiously at the trinket. “The jeweler said that names aren’t reliable, ‘cause they might have a really common name or the same name as someone unrelated or even _change_ their name after you do the divination. So this just – glows brighter the closer it gets to my… you know.” He couldn’t help but tease – it made Seiji smile, and it was still weird to try and think of his friend as his _soulmate_.

Seiji gently grabbed the necklace and dangled it in front of his face. He turned his head, curiously examining it. “Huh. That’s weirdly simple. Anyway, how bright does this thing _get_ , ‘cause it already looks pretty bright to me. Any brighter and it’d probably hurt to look at.”

Sylas bit his lip. That was, in fact, a safety feature the jeweler had mentioned.

“Well, um…” He didn’t know how to finish. He almost wanted to be coy, actually, to say _why don’t you take it outside and see?_ but he didn’t actually know if its brightness was governed by how far away Seiji was from the necklace, or from himself.

“That’s… actually… as bright as I’ve seen it get,” he finished. He felt stupid – of all the ways to tell someone you were soulmates, he had stumbled ass-backwards into probably the worst one.

Seiji stared blankly at him for a second, then shook his head quickly. “ _Really_?”

Sylas nodded. “Uh, yeah. The lady actually, uh, said as much, when I went to pick it up. She said it was glowing pretty bright for a new token, which meant that my soulmate was close by. And it’s – warm to the touch, which apparently they aren’t until you meet someone? So she said that meant it was someone I already knew who lived in this town, or the next one over.”

Seiji grinned, handing the necklace back over. “You’re kidding.”

“No! I mean – why would I? I take this pretty seriously, and the magic is _real_. I don’t think I’d even know _how_ to fake this if I _wanted_ to.”

Seiji nodded, his expression going quiet. “You’re not… disappointed, are you?”

Sylas tilted his head. “Why would I be?”

“Well, I know this was a really big deal for you. You wanted someone who was – magical and exciting and perfect, so you’d know that you really belonged, or whatever. You’d be, like, really smart and serious and clever together.”

“Ha! Is _that_ what you thought my soulmate would be like?”

“I dunno! I didn’t want you to be looking for them! I mean, I wouldn’t _stop_ you, you deserve to be happy, but–”

“Shh, I get it. And – well, knowing it’s you makes me feel better about the whole thing being real, honestly. I mean, someone who understood me better than you would probably have to be a psychic alien alternate universe version of me who had my whole life beamed into their brain, right?”

Seiji laughed. “Well, maybe there’s still time for you to find the alien you and bone down.”

Sylas spluttered. “Why would I do that with _me_? That’s like a _twin_ or something. Besides, they might just be a friend soulmate.”

Seiji shook his head. “I wasn’t really thinking of Alien You as related to you, anyway, ‘cause of the whole alien thing. Anyways, it was just a thought.”

“Whatever. I’m glad it’s you, Seiji, you’re the best. I already like you and everything.” He almost said _love_ but thought against it. It felt like… a lot, now, even if he’d have said it easily yesterday.

Seiji bounced happily. “Okay, well, that’s that, then. Lookit what I got you!”

Sylas laughed and reached for the box.

* * *

It took longer than usual for Seiji to doze off. Sylas couldn’t sleep at all. He groaned quietly, getting out of bed and settling into his armchair. He started to page through the book of art that had been half of Seiji’s present, even though his mind refused to focus on the pictures in front of him.

One thing was clear from – well, from the first five minutes after Seiji walked into his room. Seiji wasn’t just in love with him – he was _obvious_ about it. It was clear from the way he acted, the things he said, even the way he _looked_ at Sylas. And it wasn’t new, either – if Sylas didn’t know what the pink color of the necklace meant, he wouldn’t have seen anything different in Seiji’s behavior.

What was he supposed to do now, then? He didn’t feel particularly romantic towards Seiji – as far as he could tell, anyway. Before Philly, he’d never had a real crush – and who was to say his feelings for Philly _were_ real? When he had thought she _might_ be his soulmate, he hadn’t even been able to _hope_ she was, and now that he knew she wasn’t, he was only relieved. She probably would be, too, but he didn’t even feel bittersweet at the missed opportunity. He’d probably tell her tomorrow, even, say that he had found his soulmate and it wasn’t her and he could tell his dad to suck it. (Not that he’d ever risk doing that, of course.) She’d probably laugh and say he was too tall for her anyways and happy late birthday, by the way.

But _Philly_ didn’t really have anything to do with _Seiji_. Just because he didn’t know what romantic love felt like didn’t mean he was in love with Seiji. But how was he supposed to let him down gently? They were soulmates.

He flipped a page pensively. They might have been soulmates, but he didn’t think there was necessarily a _rule_ that what soulmates felt for each other _had_ to be symmetrical. Just that they would understand each other and care about each other and generally be made for each other. That didn’t mean that unrequited crushes weren’t possible.

It made him feel bad, though. He didn’t like the idea of Seiji pining over him forever. Still – wouldn’t it be pretty bad if he tried to _make_ himself fall in love, just because of a glowing bead of glass? He didn’t doubt that he could probably nurse _some_ sort of crush into bloom, but it probably would only be as strong as his feelings for Philly were, since it would have been engineered out of obligation. And it would make Seiji feel bad, anyway, if he knew Sylas was forcing himself to love him in that way.

He looked up at Seiji, who was still sleeping like a rock on his bed. He smiled. Even with this awkward tangle, he really was lucky. How many people could say they found their soulmate before they even knew – hell, when they were little kids? No matter how it shook out, he had a lifelong friend who cared about him deeply. Someone _he_ cared about deeply.

He shut the book and climbed into bed. The crush thing would probably still nag at him, but it was bothering him much less now. He could just… play this by ear. If he was going to fall in love with Seiji, he would, and if he wasn’t, then that was okay too. It was as simple as that, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it wasn't really #relevant but in my heart the presents Seiji got Sylas were an art book with lots of watercolor paintings and a box of nice chocolates. they probably ate like half of them together before Seiji went to sleep


	3. rationalizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Normally if something was bothering him to this degree, he’d tell Seiji about it. He could talk to his familiar, of course, but it was more comforting to run through his feelings with Seiji. There was something about the way Seiji thought about and reacted to things that felt right. He understood Sylas automatically. In some ways he was almost the inverse of a familiar – while Fineas and Fenn were part of Sylas from the beginning, taken from some part of his soul and instantiated in the outside world, Seiji was someone who had started out separate and grown to be part of him.  
>  Yeah, thought Sylas, feeling kind of stupid. Like a soulmate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seiji is dumb because he doesn't think and Sylas is dumb because he overthinks. [they're both dumb as shit](https://twitter.com/cornhime/status/1039176750972977154)

“I thought you said this would be _simple_ ,” teased Fenn. Fineas nipped at her and Sylas rolled his eyes.

She was right, though. It had been about a month since his birthday and he felt like he might be starting to go insane. Writing in his diary used to be a fun pastime – he would talk about interesting things that happened or compose poetry or write down interesting ideas – but nowadays it felt like a chore. He felt like he was analyzing every interaction with Seiji more intensely than he’d thought about anything else, examining everything he said and did and even _thought_ under a microscope.

Before his birthday he’d think nothing of eating a meal with Seiji, but now his brain automatically labeled it as a date. Walking anywhere together, sleeping over, watching the waves crash on the beach through the foliage: all dates, no matter how casual they used to be. And dates were, apparently, trickier than hanging out to simply enjoy one another’s company. Were they technically dates if they weren’t dating? If Sylas wasn’t sure he wanted to date Seiji? If Seiji hadn’t actually _asked_ to date Sylas yet?

Sylas tapped his pen, making a frustrated noise. The _other_ thing that made it weird was that Seiji’s behavior hadn’t changed – he didn’t _seem_ like someone who had been pining for a long time and finally been given permission to act on it. Now that Sylas knew he had feelings for him, of course it was easy to spot the signs, but if Sylas hadn’t gone to the jewelry store or told Seiji the results of his trip, Seiji’s behavior probably would have been the same as how he was currently acting. Maybe not _quite_ the same – he _did_ seem a little more at ease with himself ever since Sylas told him about the necklace.

Sylas frowned. That was probably _his_ fault, for being so obsessed with the idea of a soulmate for so long. Even if they hadn’t turned out to be made for each other, it seemed rude to ignore _everyone_ just because they weren’t a specific person that you hadn’t even met yet. At least in retrospect, and at least towards people he actually liked. He didn’t feel guilty at all for not giving the time of day to people who were mean to him.

But Seiji…

Sylas couldn’t remember ever _not_ knowing Seiji, and he certainly couldn’t remember not _liking_ him. There were the _really_ old memories, but those practically didn’t count. He couldn’t even read back then. Seiji was simply a constant of his life – one that he actually liked, even. He knew, rationally speaking, that Seiji wouldn’t be offended – well, he was probably _hurt_ , a little, but he wouldn’t get _more_ hurt. But he hadn’t spent years being Seiji’s friend just to get leeway to hurt his feelings…

He was going in circles. The problem was that he’d essentially rehearsed _all_ of this to himself already over the last month. He’d noticed that everything suddenly felt like a date after two meals together and one walking excursion. He’d fretted about causing Seiji needless stress. He’d speculated on why Seiji hadn’t technically asked him out or even realized there had been a change in their relationship. (He had also wondered if there really _was_ a change in their relationship, since he hadn’t told Seiji what was weighing on him.)

And that was another thing – normally if something was bothering him to this degree, he’d tell Seiji about it. He could talk to his familiar, of course, but it was more comforting to run through his feelings with Seiji. There was something about the way Seiji thought about and reacted to things that felt _right_. He understood Sylas automatically. In some ways he was almost the inverse of a familiar – while Fineas and Fenn were part of Sylas from the beginning, taken from some part of his soul and instantiated in the outside world, Seiji was someone who had started out separate and grown to be part of him.

_Yeah_ , thought Sylas, feeling kind of stupid. _Like a soulmate._

He pulled the necklace out from where it rested under his shirt, examining the pink glow. It wasn’t too bright – Seiji was probably in town. It was still warm. Sylas smiled at it. It might have complicated his life, but he was used to what it meant now – the little pink flame in his hand that said _Seiji loves you_. That, at least, was unmistakable.

None of this, of course, helped Sylas make any headway on his own feelings. He knew that Seiji was his friend, that he trusted him more than anyone, that he would happily spend his life with him – but he didn’t know if he wanted to kiss him, much less do anything physical beyond that. After all, parents frequently told their children, a soulmate isn’t necessarily someone you marry. He didn’t _have_ to feel any particular way at all.

But would he be letting Seiji down? Logically, he knew the answer was _no_ , but part of him still felt bad, like he was somehow hurting his friend by not returning his feelings. But even his mental image of Seiji told him that was bullshit – that he didn’t owe him anything, that if their places were reversed _he_ obviously wouldn’t think Seiji owed him a thing.

Sylas hummed, leaning back in his seat. He should probably just _talk_ to Seiji about this. It was the obvious solution, really.

* * *

“So, Seiji…”

“Yeah?”

They were sitting on a fountain in the shade. The water bubbled quietly behind them as they watched people in the park.

“How do you know that you like someone?”

Seiji laughed. “Uh, if you like being around them? I don’t get what you mean.”

Sylas shook his head. “No, like – romantically. How do you decide if you wanna date a person?”

“If they’re… cute, I guess? I dunno, I don’t really think about it that much.”

_Yeah, no kidding,_ Sylas didn’t say. “Is that really it, though?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you don’t walk up to _every_ person you think is cute and ask them out, do you?”

Seiji shrugged. “Why not? I mean, if they say yes they say yes and if they say no they say no. I can handle getting yelled at, even, if I didn’t know they were already dating someone or not into guys or just didn’t like me.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“You make it sound so simple.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Not to me! And – well, how do you decide you wanna _keep_ dating someone? Beyond looks, what makes you _like_ someone?”

Seiji looked uncomfortable. “I… don’t know? I mean, I could probably say things that I like about people – I like your sense of humor, and I like that you’re nice, and I think you’re really smart, and, uh… I dunno, I like that my mom doesn’t take shit from people? – but it’s not like I have a process for deciding that I wanna go on a second date with someone. Usually the other person is the one to break things off, anyway, I pretty much keep going until then.”

“Well, and then what?”

“I’m… not dating them anymore? I know some people take it rough, but I don’t, really. If they didn’t wanna keep dating me then they didn’t wanna keep dating me.”

Sylas was beginning to understand why Seiji hadn’t even tried to make a move.

“What about me, then?” he said quietly.

“What _about_ you?” He sounded confused.

“I, um…”

This was the tricky part of the conversation. As hard as it was to confess to someone – to say _I’m in love with you_ – it was infinitely harder to do the opposite, to say _you’re in love with me_. Sylas took a deep breath, then looked down at his knees.

“When I went to get… this… on my birthday, you know what the jeweler said to me? The first thing she said when I took it out of the box was ‘I don’t usually get people who know their soulmate, and it seems yours is already sweet on you.’ And I was – you know, confused, because I couldn’t think of anyone who liked me like that. Ever.”

Seiji frowned. “Are you saying you think I have a crush on you?”

Sylas rolled his eyes. “I’m saying you _obviously_ do. I mean, I was surprised, but–”

“What do you mean, _obviously_?” Seiji said loudly, his face turning red. “You’re basing this theory off a shiny piece of glass?”

“No, listen, the lady was like ‘the color is different when it’s romantic or friendly and pink is romantic’ and I asked if it was maybe someone _I_ liked and she just said that she had a _hunch_.”

“Okay, so you’re basing it on someone’s _hunch_. Who’s never _met_ me.”

“Listen, I didn’t think it was you at first, either, ‘cause as far as I knew you’re not into guys. But then you walked into my room, happy as can be, and I – I mean, Seiji, have you ever heard the way you _talk_ to me? You’re all–”

Sylas draped his arm over Seiji’s shoulders, scooting as close as he could and leaning on him until Seiji almost overbalanced.

“Heyyyy, Sylas,” he said, pitching his voice to imitate Seiji, “how _are_ you? Do you wanna hang out? I _love_ to hang out with you, it’s great, you’re my faaavorite person in the whole wide world, I don’t _need_ a soulmate with you around, please stay with me forever…”

Seiji shoved him off, folding his arms. He was still bright red. “I don’t sound like that! Well, I – I guess a _little_. But… you _are_ my favorite person in the world. You always have been. What else am I supposed to do?”

Sylas laughed. “I mean, it doesn’t bug me, and you’re my favorite too. But I – I don’t know. I’ve spent the last month trying to figure out whether or not I like you that way, and I thought maybe I could ask _you_ , because it’s _easy_ to talk to you. And now apparently _you_ don’t even know.”

Seiji turned to look at him, wearing the kind of smile he usually had when he was about to say something stupid on purpose. (Sylas loved that smile.)

“Well, that’s not too bad, right? Then we can be clueless together.”

Sylas shook his head, unable to suppress a grin. “Maybe. I think… I think I need to think a little more, now that I’m better – aimed. You should too. Do you wanna have dinner tonight? We can, um, dress up and pretend it’s a date.”

Seiji raised his eyebrows.

“Look, I’ll be honest, Seiji, I’ve been kind of thinking of everything we do together as – date-like, since I found out. I was kind of waiting for you to – ask me out, actually? Because I thought you, uh, knew. And were waiting for your chance.”

“Is _that_ so. Well…” Seiji stood up and faced Sylas, taking his hands in his own. He had an interesting look on his face. “I guess I’ll see you tonight.”

Sylas watched him as he walked away.

* * *

Sylas adjusted his tie, then gently strung the necklace with its glowing bead over his head so it could shine openly. He still wasn’t sure whether he wanted to _date_ Seiji, but he felt good after actually talking to him.

The biggest issue was that how he felt about Seiji had nothing in common with how he had felt about Philomena when he had tried to court her. They were both familiar faces, people he considered his friends, but while he felt jittery and nervous around Philly, he always felt safe and even confident around Seiji. He had been through so much _more_ with Seiji, and it was just plain easier to spend time with him. He could tell Seiji _anything_ , while whenever he tried to confide in Philly about things, she just didn’t seem to get it. Seiji didn’t understand everything, to be fair, but… it was different, somehow.

Was the difference love?

Sylas didn’t know, really. But now he didn’t feel like he _had_ to. He trusted Seiji. They could just be themselves around each other, regardless of what that looked like from the outside. Wasn’t it what they’d always done?

“How do I look?” he asked Fineas and Fenn as they coiled around his shoudlers.

“I think you look nice,” said Fineas. “Very, uh, dashing.” Fenn nodded in agreement.

* * *

Even though they could both teleport easily, Sylas and Seiji liked to walk places when they could afford it. They met up a few minutes away from the restaurant they were going to eat at. Seiji grinned sunnily at Sylas and he smiled back. Just looking at his smile made him feel steady and secure.

“You look nice,” he said, a little cheekily.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I, um…”

Sylas stopped walking and Seiji turned to look expectantly at him. Sylas had had an idea that he was _pretty_ sure was a good one, but suddenly he felt shy.

“Come here?” he asked softly. Seiji stepped closer, looking up at him curiously.

Sylas looked back down for a moment and finally decided _oh, what the hell_. Quickly, but gently, he put his hands on Seiji’s back and pulled him against him, leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips. _That_ certainly made him feel fluttery. He pulled away after only a moment, opening his eyes to gauge Seiji’s reaction. The spellbound expression on his face made Sylas want to kiss him again. He resisted the urge.

“Does that mean you decided you like me?” he said, already turning pink.

Sylas laughed and scooped him up into a hug. “Don’t be stupid, Seiji. I already knew that.”

* * *

The next week, they went to the magic jewelry shop together. The shopkeeper went ahead and gave them the discount.

**Author's Note:**

> once again happy birthday to my good friend Izaak! I started this fic over a year ago and worked on it every couple of months until I realized it would make a great birthday present. so if you liked this you should [thank xim](https://varibean.tumblr.com)!


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